Soap Operas

An oxymoron in itself. I come today with an instalment on my opinions on the soap's. Where to even start, firstly sit yourself down it's nearly seven o clock, best not miss today's instalment or you may not guess the over predictable storyline and the flawless acting. Once you have sat down take a journey to a land where everyone in the Town knows everyone and the town and it's inhabitants all Circe around the local pub. Not one week can go by without the plot building to rape, murder or adultery. Perhaps i am not living an exciting enough life because my life isn't jam packed with all of the above. People escaping from prison, fleeing the country and forging Visa's has anyone noticed in the real world that shit just don't happen. When was the last time anyone got away with that kinda thing. I guess that's because there isn't a CSI Weatherfield that it's easy enough to merely run away to France. In one series of hollyoaks many years ago a storyline involved a man not able to let the passing of his mother go ands he had kept her body in his house. Sad but true unfortunately this could happen but what are you doing crowding round the television to watch it? The soap cynic can soon be turned against their will though, don't sit down to criticize and laugh at their expense you will soon be drawn in by flawless plot line and on edge acting. A public warning stay away from soaps; try reading a book.

Singing Satirists

Whilst this subject might seem something that is trivial or not in popular demand, it is something which i thoroughly enjoy and would suggest that you look up. Who am i talking about, people like Tom Lehrer, Roy Zimmerman, Bo Burnham, The Amateur Transplants and the Lonely Island. The list is a mile long and many good comics go unmentioned. However this is something you should go forth and re search, political social even economic satire is produced by all of the above. So go forth and enjoy a great love of mine. This type of comedy is my favourite at the moment and does show an example of the revolutionary power of the Internet. Alot of comics whom wouldn't have even been heard of have managed to rise to power through the power of YouTube and other various sites including twitter and Blogger. This kind of comedy that is only on the Internet wouldn't have been available twenty years ago. The power of the Internet doesn't stop at influencing seasonal charts, god save rage against the machine. Look up these satirists and enjoy.

Scotland and Sport

A country often slandered for it's sporting efforts has been subjected more than it's fair share. I'm referring to Scotland as you will have established. It was 1998 the last time we qualified for the world cup and have had a fair share of failure in Rugby. Sporting failure is rife apparently.

But what about Andy Murray and Chris Hoy they are great successes in the sporting world and have done the nation proud. It is not just today but throughout sporting history we have had outstanding individuals Jack Nichols acclaimed golfer and Kenny Dalglish the Liverpool legend.

This seems strange that producing such figures has still managed to ascertain such a reputation. Notice the coloration all individuals. We are unable to put together a successful team of athletes. As individuals we are supreme but together there is no chance. it would only take one team victory though say at the world cup to unite Scottish sporting pride and we would reign famous for fifty years to come. Or do we not have the same thoughts as our neighbours to the south?

The irony of war

Something which has come to my attention is some more than ironic phrases associated with war that i keep hearing, Friendly Fire and Civil War being a some of the more ironic ones.

Tell you whats really ironic invading a nation to bring them freedom. The conflict in Afghanistan has reached the point where it no longer the retaliation to a terrorist attack. In that whilst it would be beneficial to pull the troops for the good of our economy. We have reached the stage where this has become impossible because the public need a justification for money spend and lives lost. However whilst the conflict continues the two things which are stopping a pull out of troops is increasing the need for a justification.

It is it ever possible to leave or should we quit while we're... behind? To be honest we should journey on and seek victory in stabilising the government and armed forces of nation. However it should be duly noted that pulling out to soon, when the country seems to be at peace with it's self could just lead to civil war.

Scotland

Scotland certainly would be seen a few times if "A History of the World" was ever written. IT would be noted down for things such as whisky, Robert Burns and haggis. It would be noted down for the "auld" Scottish clans, William Wallace and the defiance against the English. But in modern times it would be noted down for its alcoholism, teenage mothers, obesity and knife crime.

Because I live in Scotland, and have done all my life, I don't know how our "bonnie wee" country s viewed around the world. I have been told in places such as America and Canada, Scots are treated as royalty. Is that really the case? Are our (ex) colonies still glad to see us when we get into JFK Airport with our kilts, sporrans and bagpipes?

Personally, I am part of a re-enactment group, who, for the Scottish side of things, historically educate our audiences on the rebellious Jacobite and government ordeal. I am told that audiences outside Scotland love the battles and Scottish Lore.

There is that fun loving side of Scotland but in modern day society, where does that all fit into the dark, damp west coast of Scotland? It doesn't. For Scotland today is contributing to the UK's record of "The most teenage mums in Europe". And if you were to collect all the cigarette butts in Scotland, you could probably bury Glasgow. Twice.

Scotland may be famous for its distilleries but thats just made a bunch of alcoholic toothless 40-somethings who are all on there second or third liver and will be lucky to make it past 59. Even though they have great grandchildren.

Scotland. Apparently the home of football. At least we can use that title to excuse our football team of today. Alas, we beat France recently (not that they're good anymore) and we managed to get a goal against current world champions, Spain, but then lost. We have a friendly against Brazil later this month, why don't they just hit every player in the squad between the legs with a rake? It has now become a comical joke in Scotland about our hopes of football. Just look at the SPL. Remember the Irn Bru advert during last year's World Cup? "Bruzil 2034"? It's a joke! And even when we rarely get into the World Cup we end up with Portugal, Argentina and Brazil.

And what is it with the Conservatives being able to rule us? We have one conservative constituency. At least the Scottish Government can overrule some Westminster legislation, and what a joke they are.

Scotland also has an obesity problem. Nice to know we're known for "Deep Fried Mars Bars".

Scotland does have decent heritage. Many men abroad who have Scottish ancestors wear kilts at special occasions. KoRn's lead singer, Jonathan Davis, famously wears a Kilt to his gigs for his Scottish ancestory. "Best small country in the world"? With the record I've just listed, too right!

Social Networking

I'm predominately referring to Facebook. It's seems that half the world is on Facebook. You can literally, find anyone on there. The things people will upload knows no limit of obscenity or stupidity. From status updates on people's dinner or bikini holiday snaps. Then you've got the opportunity to click the like button and flag people activity you appreciate, apparently its faux par to like all of one persons holiday photo's where she remains half naked.

Status updates is the big thing (next to pervy holiday snaps.) And all these updates are put into a colage of called a 'news reel.' To be frank it's probably the collection of the least news worthy things known to man. A concoxtion of song lyrics, confessions of over zealous love lifes and pointless information. It's like a very unwitty version of twitter.

Every one persists to moan about Facebook (yes i'm not alone) but we've fallen into a trap of moaning about it, whilst making it our second love. With every detail of everyone's life recorded upon it, it would be the optimum method of government control. They just need to seize those records. If they haven't yet. I don't mean to sound like a conspiracy theorist really i don't. but i should go incase someone is watching.

MP's Scandle

Genuinely, why is there a big deal on this? MP's should be given a reasonable limit and if they go over that should be fined or/and jailed. Especially if they go in excess of £200,000 per year like one Falkirk MP, Eric Joyce. Really, using tax payers money to claim for three oil paintings worth £180 each. When asked why he claimed for these he replied "Because they look nice for people who come in to my home". Really? Which home? Your 1st or 2nd? If he's using tax payers money for this, everyone in Scotland should come into his home and have a look at these and if they aren't impressed, which will by the way be the majority have the legal right to punch him in the dick.

Tweeting

Find us both on twitter Xander832 and jbpenquin